The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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