It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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