In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
