But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
