i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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