he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
