I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
