Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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