I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
