What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
You can't special order awesome
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
