i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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