i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
