Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
