I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
