Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
