I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
