Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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