i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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