im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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