The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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