I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
