I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
