Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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