Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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