I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
