If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
