Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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