you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
