arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Come share oat with me in your robe
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
