trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
