I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
