tell your sister to shave her snatch
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
