if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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