hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
