I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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