Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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