DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
