I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
