its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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