My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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