Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
