Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
