I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
