when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
