i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
