I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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