After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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