what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
