Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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