The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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